you
still carry
your
guilt around for company
I
will not deprive you of it
but
I have an empty space
where
my hate lived
while
I nursed it
as
if it were a child
brother
my only
brother
it was too late for us
before
we were born
it
was too late
before
you learned to be brutal
and
I learned to be weak
your
childhood
was
a hallway of doors
each
closing just as you
got
to it
but
I was younger
and
all the doors were closed
before
I could walk
how
could I have expected you
to
save me when you could
not
save yourself
brother
my only
brother
if not from you
from
whom did I learn
so
much despair
I
went in search
of
a father and found you
with
a whip in your hand
but
what were you searching for
in
such dark places
where
I was searching for love
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