I am alone,
love passes by,
crying tears,
I wonder why—
I cannot find
what others found.
5/21/19
5/20/19
SONG FOR NOBODY - Thomas Merton
A
yellow flower
(Light
and spirit)
Sings
by itself
For
nobody.
A
golden spirit
(Light
and emptiness)
Sings
without a word
By
itself.
Let
no one touch this gentle sun
In
whose dark eye
Someone
is awake.
(No
light, no gold, no name, no color
And
no thought:
O,
wide awake!)
A
golden heaven
Sings
by itself
A
song to nobody.
5/18/19
NOT GETTING CLOSER - Jack Gilbert
Walking in the dark streets of Seoul
under the almost full moon.
Lost for the last two hours.
Finishing a loaf of bread
and worried about the curfew.
I have not spoken for three days
and I am thinking, “Why not just
settle for love? Why not just
settle for love instead?”
3/23/19
A BIRD IN THE HAND: TWO SOLOS - Richard Shelton
Wife: there was nothing wrong with our
dreams
they fit us like scales
on a fish
our dreams of patience
and goodness
were not beyond our
abilities
and our dreams of sex were
harmless
there was nothing
wrong with our dreams
except
they were the wrong
dreams for us
now we see we had little
choice
and once we had chosen
each other
even that was taken away
Husband: when I reached out with my right hand
and touched you
I knew everything had
been planned
even what I am saying
now
had been prepared
for me to say
and if I had reached out
with my left hand
at a different time on a
different day
you would have been
there
and everything would be
the same
Wife: coming of age
I found myself in the
desert
following the wrong
leader
but how could I have
abandoned you
when I knew you would
perish without me
so I said let it ride
and I rode with it
through a godforsaken
land without trees
or flowers or anything
beautiful
while the wind played my
ribs like a harp
I don’t enjoy being laughed
at
but I have learned
to practice a certain amount
of madness
most difficult of the
arts
and the least rewarding
Husband: before we realized what they were
they were over
those
days when we lived
in furnished rooms and
could laugh
at their ugliness
later
well on our way
and established in our
own shambles
drinking good wines and eating
good salads
we gave up bread and
butter
and those private days
those brief
beautiful days
gladly
as if we had a choice
Wife: I keep busy all day
but when the sun goes
down
I seem to go with it
once I walked out the
door and entered night
because it was there
and because it promised
everything
but what because of the
promises
we didn’t live up to
only the young are aware
of life
burning at their
shoulders
only they know his touch
later it is all
speculation
and empty phone booths
waiting for violent acts
of love
I keep telling myself I
will
feel better tomorrow
but I don’t believe it
there is always tomorrow
night
Husband: I saw you sleeping
knees bent to the right
a little apart
head turned to the left
right arm at your side
and left arm
above your head with
your hand
caught in the wildness
of your hair
until I saw you like
that
I never understood why
there were so many
paintings of nudes
Wife: we are separate people
each what he fears most
each his own
trap his own bait his
own victim
I am not responsible for
your life
and you are not
responsible for mine
I wanted to get married
and you thought that
meant I loved you
now you are going deaf
and I pity you
how hard it must be for
a man
who has been blind all
these years
Husband: there are others
who had all the
advantages I had
and kept them
but deafness grows
on my family tree like a
vine
choosing one limb and
avoiding another
now that my ears
have started to go blind
I find myself among the
chosen
and someday I will hear
the true sound
of darkness
I have learned to expose
my eyes
to the lips of strangers
and understand what they
cannot say
living as I do
with my secrets unheard
and listening always
with my eyes
how can I blame you
if you turn your face
away
Wife: all afternoon
your shadow your only
child
grew taller
now he is leaving and
you will be alone
in the darkness that has
been
and the darkness that is
coming
the same darkness
bright moons in the
blood move on
as water moves in the
bed of a river
sleeping at night and
waking
somewhere else
once I turned quickly
and saw you
looking
only at me
even if I could explain
I wouldn’t
even if I could explain
to you
I would oh I would
how any love story is a
sad story
and we kiss ourselves
goodby
each time we kiss each
other
Husband: those who have no children
become the children they
were
and those who have
several children
extend themselves like
fingers
stretching into deep
grass
but we have only one
child
and both of us must crowd
into his body
elbowing each other for
space
Wife: I remember
when this photograph was
taken
the aperture opened on my
life
as it was as it appeared
to be
with the eyes of a deer
on the wall
and a tongue which could
tell
the truth
but the other was easier
my life created for me
and I like a fool
accepted it
with its hand over its
mouth
to hide the bleeding
waiting on the steps
of the front porch for
years saying
you are young you will
find somebody
my life with a life of
its own
daring me to leave it
saying I am all I have
it isn’t enough
Husband: waiting is hardest but we have to wait
for the good things to
come to us
I always have this next
thing to do
while I am waiting
something important that
needs to be done
a dog to be fed a plant
to be watered
I had two friends
one is gone the other is
dead
now our son is grown up
and no longer
needs me and you say I
am the cause
of all your unhappiness
these things are true
but there is always this
next
thing to do something important
that needs to be done
while I am waiting
Wife: ambition
worm in my bowels
the more I starve you
the more you grow
others have killed their
thousands
but you have killed your
tens of thousands
I tell you
the stars can see only
into the past
they do not know what I
am doing
and do not care and the
moon
which knows everything
cares even less
but you answer me with
the story
about water always
running away from home
and returning purified
Husband: years ago I took this woman
you took this man
and we kept each other
but each of us still
wants to be a victim
as if love were an
accident
caused by carelessness
and we could hold one
another responsible
in order to get what we
need from each other
what have we traded
except parts of our lives
huge parts of our lives
and what have we gained
except huge parts of
each other’s lives
love
always gives
more than we bargain for
Wife: I heard a bird cry a name
and when I looked I
found you
in the trap of my hand
crying a name I could
not understand
your own or the name of
someone you lost
it was never mine
I tried to find someone
to love me
before it was too late
but there was no one
Husband: I heard a bird call my name
but when I found the
bird
it was you
caught in the trap of my
hand
and what I heard was
your pain
it has always been
I tried to find a place
where I could not hear
that sound
but there was no place
Wife: I heard a bird cry a name
Husband: I heard a bird call my
name
and when I looked
it was you
in the trap of my hand
what I heard
was your pain
crying a name I could not understand
it has always been
your own or the name of someone you lost
it was never mine
I tried to find
a place
someone to love me
but there is no
other place
there is no other one
3/3/19
2/6/19
Lines for Winter - Mark Strand
for Ros Krauss
Tell
yourself
as
it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that
you will go on
walking,
hearing
the
same tune no matter where
you
find yourself—
inside
the dome of dark
or
under the cracking white
of
the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight
as it gets cold
tell
yourself
what
you know which is nothing
but
the tune your bones play
as
you keep going. And you will be able
for
once to lie down under the small fire
of
winter stars.
And
if it happens that you cannot
go
on or turn back
and
you find yourself
where
you will be at the end,
tell
yourself
in
that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that
you love what you are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)